So, here I sit on this lousy porch roof. It’s not too bad, but it’s certainly not the kind of digs I’m used to. What a rotten night. It rained. There were strange noises coming from the window nearby, like little girls whispering about me. I don’t know where I am, but it’s NOT home! They tried to feed me chicken food, can ya believe it?! They have a dog that has it out for me. And now, here I sit on the roof, thinking I’m safe, and THAT thing starts eyeing me up for breakfast!
Do I even have a TINY chance of surviving this?!
Now if I could only get my bearings and ditch this crazy joint! Can someone shoot me a map or somethin’? For cryin’ out loud!